theblindsight

I got back into Zaadz, and starting a new pod!

It's "Mental Health and Spirituality". Go check it out!


www.zaadz.com/blindsight

Hello. Here is my summer: (Personal Note: I woke up manic, and laid in bed depressed. One day cycle.)

Bipolar NOS :: Translation :: They don't know what you ARE.

I fluxed between an atheist, agnostic, buddhist, spiritualist, channeler, Reiki, Guru, Psycho, Mania, Mixed, Depressed, and back to athiesm...or more accurately Nihilism.
Everyday is a surprise atleast.

( Dream is Destiny )


Wow, I just rambled mindlessly. Oh well, atleast it unflitered.

Once again, I am going to through a reawakening, which included the experimentation of drugs, both legal, illegal, and prescribed. I'm been having a pretty bad mixed episode for the past week, and I'm attempting to get my doctor to prescribe benzo. He says I have way too many chemicals in my system, so he took my off the MAOI.

My eyes are tired, but my mind and body aren't. It's strange.

Here is a great quote from the buddhist's I normally visit:

Herein lies our problem. A parable, when taken literally, does not make sense to the modern mind. Therefore we must learn to differentiate the parables and myths from actuality. However, if we learn to go beyond or transcend the parables and myths, we will be able to understand the truth.
http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/reincarnation.htm
People will say "If such is the case why not speak directly so that we will be able to come to an immediate grasp of the truth?" This statement is understandable, but truth is often inexpressible. [Ed comment: we as human beings are limited in understanding "Buddha Knowledge". We cannot speak TRUTH, only words ABOUT Truth] Thus, writers and teachers have often resorted to the language of the imagination to lead the reader from a lower to a higher truth.

So, so true. Rashel, I think should mean something special to you.


Oh, and I believe I've found my diety: Avalokitesvara. Yeah, the big one. I'm pretty excited about figuring that out.


Enough for now. I'll have another cigarette than pass out. I think I'll go pick up more cool stuff for the apartment tomorrow;

I haven't posted in a long time.

There is a point where you must decide to stop playing the victim, stop placing blame, and start living.

If I don't start taking control, it will take control of me.



It's time to fight back.



Welcome back Daniel.

Still up, and it's not insomnia.

Great.

I can't sleep again.

My body is exhausted, but I can't make my head shut up. Oh well. I just have to suck it up for another day.

I hope my book turns out well. I have a few people expecting something great. I guess all I can do is try my best.
Atleast my faculty advisor thinks I could do great things.


The two of cups promises a soulmate. "Romeo and Juliet".
Maybe I've found that.

Atleast I have Misty. That helps so much.

There is no such thing as an inact personality.

Everyone's mind is divided. The more divided we are, the more we give into impulse.



I secret is communicating with yourself, and finding your balance. Whenever you have an impulse, satisfy it in a healthy way. Don't ignore your own energy.

-If you want to hurt someone, go practice fighting with equipment.
-IF you feel creative yet irritable, don't go drinking, go take some pictures.
-If you want to drink, moderate.
-If you hate your past, work with it, write down your thoughts.
-If you hate your parents, explain to them why.
-If you want to do drugs...eat some ice cream. (it actually does help, the "dry alcoholic" theory)
-And so forth and so on.

These are easy things to do. Ignoring your needs only creates a divided mind.

I believe meditating over these things can greatly improve someone's spiritual and mental health, and every religion and denomination can do it.
Figure out how to satify every part of your personality without harming another part.

This is the theory of moderation.

I believe all people should do this, not just people in therapy



Be your own therapist.

I have a rule for all art: Take an object with purpose and put it in an environment with meaning."



The 10 of Swords means that things are at their worst. That also means that life can only get better.

I believe I've already hit the bottom in my life. That was my test. From here on out, things can only get better.

Optimism during extreme lows is the only way to survive.


Staying up doesn't define us. It's how strong we are when we fall.

Here is an example of photoshop taking a crappy picture and making it mediocre. No good, but mediocre.

Here is the original shot:

Here is mediocre, an hour later:

I realise how much power photoshop really has. It's just learning how to use it. Still, you need have something to work with. In other words, some pictures are beyond saving.
BTW, if you want a peek into the mind of a psycho, read Secrets of the Night. I end up showing a lot of myself.

Then again, having someone viewing your art should be like standing naked in front of them: Completely Vunerable, with nothing to hide behind.



Happy V-Day

This is by far the darkest story I've ever written in my life.
I know most people don't read stories that get posted up on LJ, but this one infuriates even me, and I wrote it.

Well, here it is. Tell me what you think:

( Secrets of the Night )

I still feel uninspired. This was the only picture I could pull out of my backyard at nighttime. Oh well.

I got bored and wrote a long comment to an old BBC story about cannabis. A kid who obviously has bi-polar type one did a lot of cannabis, so the parents assumed that cannabis was the root to all evil.

Basically, I tore it apart.



I forgot to copy and paste it, so I don't have it.

Here is the link to the story is your are bored.




I'm going to take a picture of the moon...if it's out. Later

The epic symbol of the tower now hangs on my wall. A silver dragon flies around it, ready to fend off the masses of men who have formed to fight him. The lightning surges above, with the water crashing below.

The battle between truth and lies.


When do me lies become my truth?
It's strange. I've seen what I needed to see. Now I guess it's time to be realistic.



I may one day be the next great scholar of my time. This year is not the time for such things.
Perhaps next year I can do college.




For now I work on healing my mind.

( As I Finally Talk about God )

Yes I'm ready to defend my views.

When I was writing in my journal last night I discovered the nature of dissociation, or alteast of mine.




( The Nature of the Dissociative Personality to the Best of My Perception )


I'm trying to figure this out the best I can. I haven't taken classes, so all I can do is try to piece it together.

I had a strange dream last night.



In it I dreamed that there was a tsunami. I saw the big wave waiting to flood the land around me. I led my best friend, my mom and a few unnamed others to a lighthouse.

I led everyone to the very top as the water rose around us and said "Here we make our stand". The water rose right to our level and stopped. We looked around and saw nothing but a calm ocean. It recided, and we walked along the beach, reflecting on the beast we fought fearlessly.

I haven't had dreams for a while until as of late. Must be the medication.



I'll try to analyze my own dream. "Frued style" I suppose.

-The flood represents emotional issue, problems or fears. It really seems fitting.
-To see a lighthouse in your dream, signifies that you are seeking guidance during your times of hardships and turmoil.
-To dream that you are on the beach and looking out toward the ocean, indicates unknown and major changes that are occurring in your life.
-To see an ocean in your dream, represents the state of your emotions and feelings.  It is indicative of some spiritual refreshment,  tranquility and renewal. In my case, it was calm, and surrounded me on all sides.



I have had issues, and I've been lost as I watched my life fall apart. But I made my stand. I said "It stops here", and it did. Suddenly the ocean was calm. I found my sanctuary. Then I found the beach, and I knew my life had changed forever.

What do you know, this dream interpretation can work, and I can see through bad horoscopes.



When your emotions try to drown you, take a stand against yourself. Resist the flood.

Sounds cheezy, but it feels good once you've been through the boiler.